Why do lectures stop working on kids? Dr. Ray explains why parents over-lecture, what teens say bothers them most, and why short and sweet works better.

Why are so many adult children cutting off their parents? Dr. Ray lays out the chain of events he sees again and again, from faith and blame to therapy that focuses on the self.

Which phrases make kids anxious? Dr. Ray reacts to a psychologist’s list of seven everyday phrases and says why such warnings leave parents neurotic.

Why do people start answers with look and listen? Dr. Ray explains why he finds the habit pushy, why he notices it as a shrink, and how parents slip into it.

Will my teen agree once she understands? Dr. Ray explains why understanding does not equal agreement and why that frustrates parents of teens.

Is it good to parent less? Dr. Ray looks at what parents want for their kids, the case for mindful underparenting, and why children need boring time.

Is my child really strong-willed? Dr. Ray explains why that label is overused and misleading, and what parents should check in their own parenting first.

Should I go easy on discipline because my child has been through a hard time? Dr. Ray explains the “He’s a Special Child” trap and why standards still matter.

Was Jesus just a good man or a good teacher? Dr. Ray, a psychologist, explains why he says that is not a choice, from the apostles’ martyrdom to his teaching.

Is rewarding a child for cooperating just bribery? Dr. Ray reacts to a podcast on reinforcement and explains why he thinks it reverses the order of things.

How do feelings change? Dr. Ray uses a Mark Twain quote and his own move to the Catholic Church to show that feelings follow changes in how we think.

Is an algorithm raising your kid? Dr. Ray explains how phone algorithms feed kids more of what they look up and why delaying access is the only way to stop it.

How do I show my kids my strict standards come from love? Dr. Ray tells dads why steady physical affection, even with teens, softens the standards they enforce.

Is middle child syndrome real? Dr. Ray says the research doesn’t back it, that temperament beats birth order, and shows how his own kids moved around.

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Body-is-Dumb.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/who-should-i-blame-4-my-probs.mp3" /]

Why do therapists avoid saying a child’s behavior is wrong? Dr. Ray recalls the non-judgmental language of his training and how it follows from leaving God out.

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/the-causes-of-our-culturl-violence.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/curse-of-extreme-language.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Children-want-discipline-Not.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/What-does-an-apology-say.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/the-dust-kicker-upper.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Psychological-Correctness-has-burned-more-than-one-generation.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Why-little-troubles-seem-big.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/the-craving-for-certainty.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/The-danger-of-the-springer-effect.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Be-careful-who-you-complain-to.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Sometimes-a-scar-is-not-a-scar.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Out-of-Cntrl-emotins-may-not-be-so-OOC.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Population-Bmb-Not.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Diagnosis-Explosion-among-kids.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Generational-Gratitude.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Intvw-1-min-too-long.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Jesus-didnt-have-what-I-have.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Classical-Conditioning-Parenting-the-Look.mp3" /]

[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Once-saved-always-saved-doesnt-make-senes.mp3" /]

Why is it so hard to say “I’m sorry”? Dr. Ray explains why many people find acting nice easier than apologizing, with a story about buying flowers.

Why is spiritual but not religious shallow? Dr. Ray says the phrase is closer to agnosticism, and that when you set the terms, you end up following yourself.

Is the difficult teenager just normal? Dr. Ray says surliness is not automatic in the teen years and that the stereotype is more cultural than developmental.

Why do people complain so much? Dr. Ray explains the internal and external payoffs of complaining, why it pushes people away, and how it signals weak gratitude.

Why do lectures stop working on kids? Dr. Ray jokes about the parental lecture, why we give them, and why the longer the lecture, the less it is heard by kids.

Is ‘pick your battles’ good parenting advice? Dr. Ray says it works for kid junk but not for disrespect, and uses the broken window theory to explain why.

Save catastrophic language for the really big stuff.

Is your skill a curse?

You expect me to be perfect!

Mental health types don’t like discipline.

Do you want to be normal?

Homeschoolers do not follow the peers rules.

Are you psychologically damaging your child by the way you talk?

Am I normal?

Are you smarter than an ant?

The popularity of tattoos

How much risk can you live with?

Social Media: A sticker system on steroids!

Am I wonderful or what?

What do you say when your teenager says “You don’t trust me!”

Can you customize your religion to align God’s standards to your own?

Are the Gospels real?

What’s so good about Good Friday?

Examining single issue voters…

Bed Time Bad Times

Don’t expect the littlest ones to follow any rules.

You’d better give something up!

Watch out for the “WHY?”

I don’t understand God.

New Years Resolutions

Shell shocked 2nd child syndrome

Covid Thanksgiving

Covid-19: Look at the Stats!

Will there be unintended long term consequences to the Covid-19 response?

Some thoughts about marriage counseling…

Why does God allow suffering?

Help your kids deal with boredom during the Coronavirus quarantine by directing their energies to fruitful activities.

Shut in by Covid? Take the opportunity to declutter!

Homeschooling With Coronavirus and the Importance of Discipline

What percentage of a disagreement needs to be your responsibility before you say your sorry?

Experts will tell you that there are bigger battles to fight with your teenage kids. Should I a messy room?

People say values are caught, not taught. But is that always true?

Psychologists may be tempted to invent theories that seem like a bridge too far.

Raising Upright Kids in an Upside Down World – Defying the Anti-Parent Culture

How do you respond to those who visit church once a year on Christmas?

At what age is personality established? Is there a time when we can no longer change?

Poor Excuse for Leaving Church

Most are aware of media bias, but these stats are shocking!

Do you know yourself?

Dr. Ray advises a parent with an unmotivated adult living at home.

Are feelings and emotions beyond our control?

Do you want proof of God’s existence?

Young people raised in prosperity have higher material expectations.

Some adult children blame their parent’s religious practices for leaving the faith.

Hostility is often a result of others thinking they know what you think
of them based on the way you live your life.

If you follow the golden rule so that others will be kind to you, you will likely find yourself disappointed.

Is it okay to ask my older kids to help out with the younger ones?

A woman’s intuition is often spot on!

The psychologist and parenting experts have parents second guessing their own good instincts.

Kids naturally speak in doppler.

Parents often tell me, “If disciplined him for everything he’s done wrong,
I’d be on him constantly!” No you wouldn’t! Consistent discipline
leads to less discipline. Maybe you’re confusing words with action!

If I force my child to participate in religious activities and family pryer, will I be driving him away from the Church?

Christianity is the only religion that claims its founder is God.

Don’t parent by consensus if you want to raise good kids!

What does child discipline have to do with Vegas gambling?

When you go overboard in sentencing, is it okay to apologize or even reduce or forgive punishment?

It seems that those who live by a moral code achieve higher levels of satisfaction. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

I challenge you to a test of your child’s video game addiction.

How do we stay focused at church and when we pray?

What do you do with your children who have a will of iron?

What ever happened to parents’ authority to discipline with just a look?

Some people have faith in many worldly things. But despite the evidence they simply don’t have room in their lives for any faith in God. Why is that?

“I’m a good person,” is no rationale for declaring that you don’t need a god. The statement itself says you need a god because you’ve got no measuring stick!

It’s becoming more common for parents to think that they can explain their logical reasons for rules and standards.

More on tattoos

How is Dr. Ray’s parenting advice like an ear worm?

The Limits of Human Reasoning

These two pieces of news that are all over the media today are tied together. Listen to this audio blog to find out the connection.

When teens don’t talk balk, but give those ugly “backlooks.”

Many “so-called experts” warn that setting high standards will cause children to rebel and behave worse than those with lower standards. Here’s why I disagree with this premise.

Is our culture desensitized to four-letter words? There was a time when coarse language would make us cringe. Not so much anymore.

Insights into popular sticker systems as discipline tools.

This New Years resolution is guaranteed to make a big difference in your relationships with others.

Here is my impression of a Christmas family brag letter.

Is it normal for a person to easily get choked up?

The experts have many things to say about disciplining children. But none of them seem to know how to make discipline stick.

Does discipline teach? Or does it just control behavior?

How does your childhood experience affect who you are today?

How do I discipline my child without breaking his spirits?

Will most children and adults follow the example of good behavior?

Why do so many intelligent people disregard simple reason and logic? One would think that well educated, reasonable people should be moved by logic. That would be true if logic were the only thing upon which people operate. But most people don’t operate predominantly out of logic. They operate out of emotion and self interest, which can overpower clear thinking. Listen to my thoughts about why it’s easy to disregard logic. 

Many people think we should take classes to learn how to parent. Is this a good idea?

Does a bad childhood necessarily result in dysfunctional parenting?

Good marriages oftentimes don’t need a lot of communication because they don’t need a whole lot of resolution about stuff. And usually much of what they communicate is already understood. 

How reliable is your long term memory? Do you remember where you were when the shuttle disaster happened? Although memories are seared into our brains, you may be surprised at what happens with our ability to recall the details.

Who are you nicest to? Do I treat the clerk at Target with more patience than I treat my wife? And if so, why?

Do your kids have a right to privacy? Is it okay to look through their things if you are concerned that they are engaging in behavior that can hurt them?

More about repressed memory syndrome…

If you think your kid could care less about consequences for bad behavior, think again.

Repressed Memory Syndrome  is when a therapy patient suddenly recovers a false memory — usually that he or she was abused in the past. This was a common occurrence 20 or 30 years ago. Therapists have to be very careful not to subtly plant these ideas into the minds of their patients.

Child therapy is usually not the most effective way to deal with difficult parenting situations. Therapy with the parents can be more beneficial because they are in the best position to make the changes that will result in overall improvements.

Church Scandal: Should we allow the media to dictate our fears?

School administrators weigh in on the effect the game Fortnite is having on young students at school. You may be surprised to learn how dangerous video game addiction can be. 

When your children, teens and young adults ask, “Mom, if the Catholic Church is really of God, why would He let terrible scandal happen in His Church?”

In an argument, is it fair to gang up on the other side by citing witnesses? “Just about everyone agrees with me that it is!”

The Death of Common Sense: Most adults are shocked or offended by something they have seen on television in the past year. Yet most parents allow their children to have televisions in their rooms. This is just more proof of the death of common sense. 

Sometimes, married adult children prefer to spend time with one set of grandparents over the other. We can be especially sensitive to this around the holidays.  What do you do when your adult children spend more time with their in-laws than they spend with you?

What is at the root of criticism? When I make choices for myself, for my family, for my religion, sometimes close friends and family members are very critical. What is at the crux of this disapproval of the way I choose to live my life?

A caller into Dr. Ray’s radio show is tempted to leave the Church because of the sex abuse crisis. Here’s what he tells her…

A friend of mine once said to me, “It’s hard to be depressed if you’re grateful.” Setting aside that certain percentage of depression that is biochemically induced, I agree! Gratitude has many benefits!

Is it normal for adolescents and teens to not want to be seen with their parents? The ‘experts’ will tell you it’s part of their natural desire for autonomy as they mature. I submit that it’s a prevailing cultural phenomenon caused by too much entertainment and technology which are all competing for the attention of the youth.

Is the teenage attitude just a natural developmental phase where they lose the zest they had as little kids? Or have we nurtured this teen attitude with the modern culture? I believe teenagers as a group would be more enthusiastic and upbeat if we didn’t create a surrounding culture of go-go, get-get, more-more stimulation. Listen as I site an informal field experiment to validate this idea. 

Experts have misled millions with this bad advice about sibling quibbling.  

Riding roller coasters with young people can give you an inferiority complex!

Why are boys so interested in guns? Is it innate to their personality or something that they pick up in the culture?

Can the wisdom of your decisions be judged on the results?