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About Dr. Ray
Dr. Ray Guarendi is a Catholic father of ten adopted children, a clinical psychologist, author, professional speaker, and national radio and television host. His radio show, “The Dr. Is In” can be heard on over 440 stations and Sirius XM channel 130. His TV show, “Living Right With Dr. Ray” can be seen on EWTN Global Catholic Network and is aired in 140 countries.
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Dr. Ray’s Audio Files
The Body is Dumb
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Body-is-Dumb.mp3" /]
Who should I blame for my problems?
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/who-should-i-blame-4-my-probs.mp3" /]
The Causes of Our Cultural Violence
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/the-causes-of-our-culturl-violence.mp3" /]
Walk a mile in my shoes, or you can’t help me – NOT!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/walk-a-mile-in-my-shoes.mp3" /]
The Curse of Extreme Language
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/curse-of-extreme-language.mp3" /]
Children Want Discipline – Not!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Children-want-discipline-Not.mp3" /]
What does an apology say?
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/What-does-an-apology-say.mp3" /]
The Dust Kicker-Upper!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/the-dust-kicker-upper.mp3" /]
Psychological Correctness has Burned More Than One Generation
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Psychological-Correctness-has-burned-more-than-one-generation.mp3" /]
Why little troubles seem big…
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Why-little-troubles-seem-big.mp3" /]
The Craving for Certainty
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/the-craving-for-certainty.mp3" /]
The Danger of the Springer Effect
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/The-danger-of-the-springer-effect.mp3" /]
Be careful who you complain to…
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Be-careful-who-you-complain-to.mp3" /]
Sometimes a scar is not a scar…
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Sometimes-a-scar-is-not-a-scar.mp3" /]
Out of Control Emotions May Not Be So Out of Control!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Out-of-Cntrl-emotins-may-not-be-so-OOC.mp3" /]
Population Bomb? Not!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Population-Bmb-Not.mp3" /]
The Diagnosis Explosion Among Kids
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Diagnosis-Explosion-among-kids.mp3" /]
Generational Gratitude
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Generational-Gratitude.mp3" /]
The interview went on one minute too long…
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Intvw-1-min-too-long.mp3" /]
Jesus Didn’t Have What I Have
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Jesus-didnt-have-what-I-have.mp3" /]
Classical Conditioning Parenting: “The Look”
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Classical-Conditioning-Parenting-the-Look.mp3" /]
One Saved, Always Saved – Doesn’t Make Sense
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Once-saved-always-saved-doesnt-make-senes.mp3" /]
Save Catastrophic Language for the Really Big Stuff!
Save catastrophic language for the really big stuff.
Are you psychologically damaging your child by the way you talk?
Are you psychologically damaging your child by the way you talk?
Will there be unintended long term consequences to the Covid-19 response?
Will there be unintended long term consequences to the Covid-19 response?
Quarantine Boredom
Help your kids deal with boredom during the Coronavirus quarantine by directing their energies to fruitful activities.
Shut in by Covid? Take the opportunity to declutter!
Shut in by Covid? Take the opportunity to declutter!
Coronavirus Homeschooling and Discipline
Homeschooling With Coronavirus and the Importance of Discipline
What is your Personal Apology Percentage?
What percentage of a disagreement needs to be your responsibility before you say your sorry?
Should I Ignore My Kid’s Messy Room?
Experts will tell you that there are bigger battles to fight with your teenage kids. Should I a messy room?
The Psychologists’ Phenomenon: The Stretch
Psychologists may be tempted to invent theories that seem like a bridge too far.
My New Book is Out!
Raising Upright Kids in an Upside Down World – Defying the Anti-Parent Culture
Christmas Mass Etiquette
How do you respond to those who visit church once a year on Christmas?
When is Personality Established?
At what age is personality established? Is there a time when we can no longer change?
Unmotivated 22 Year Old Living at Home
Dr. Ray advises a parent with an unmotivated adult living at home.
21st Century Prosperity (Perspective Part 2)
Young people raised in prosperity have higher material expectations.
When adult children blame their religious upbringing for not going to church…
Some adult children blame their parent’s religious practices for leaving the faith.
Assigning Thoughts to Others’ Brains
Hostility is often a result of others thinking they know what you think
of them based on the way you live your life.
The Law of Reciprocity
If you follow the golden rule so that others will be kind to you, you will likely find yourself disappointed.
Is it imposing to ask older siblings to help with younger ones?
Is it okay to ask my older kids to help out with the younger ones?
Second Guessing Your Parenting Acumen
The psychologist and parenting experts have parents second guessing their own good instincts.
Consistent Discipline Leads to Less Discipline
Parents often tell me, “If disciplined him for everything he’s done wrong,
I’d be on him constantly!” No you wouldn’t! Consistent discipline
leads to less discipline. Maybe you’re confusing words with action!
If I force religious activities on my child, will I drive him away from the Church?
If I force my child to participate in religious activities and family pryer, will I be driving him away from the Church?
Christianity is the only religion that claims its founder is God.
Christianity is the only religion that claims its founder is God.
What does child discipline have in common with Vegas gambling?
What does child discipline have to do with Vegas gambling?
Clemency: Is it okay to reduce or forgive consequences for bad behavior?
When you go overboard in sentencing, is it okay to apologize or even reduce or forgive punishment?
Does holier mean happier?
It seems that those who live by a moral code achieve higher levels of satisfaction. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
How strong is your child’s video game addiction? Will he stop playing immediately on demand?
I challenge you to a test of your child’s video game addiction.
Remember “The Look?”
What ever happened to parents’ authority to discipline with just a look?
Faith: What evidence is there to prove the Jesus is God?
Some people have faith in many worldly things. But despite the evidence they simply don’t have room in their lives for any faith in God. Why is that?
I don’t need God because I’m a good person!
“I’m a good person,” is no rationale for declaring that you don’t need a god. The statement itself says you need a god because you’ve got no measuring stick!
Parents: Can you reason with your children?
It’s becoming more common for parents to think that they can explain their logical reasons for rules and standards.
ear·worm (NOUN) – a catchy song or tune that runs continually through a person’s mind.
How is Dr. Ray’s parenting advice like an ear worm?
NY State Abortion Law & Covington, KY Catholic High School: What do they have in common?
These two pieces of news that are all over the media today are tied together. Listen to this audio blog to find out the connection.
Dirty Looks: How Disrespectful Are They?
When teens don’t talk balk, but give those ugly “backlooks.”
Setting High Standards: Will my child rebel?
Many “so-called experts” warn that setting high standards will cause children to rebel and behave worse than those with lower standards. Here’s why I disagree with this premise.
Four-Letter Words in Modern Culture
Is our culture desensitized to four-letter words? There was a time when coarse language would make us cringe. Not so much anymore.
A Real Good New Years Resolution
This New Years resolution is guaranteed to make a big difference in your relationships with others.
My version of a Christmas family brag letter…
Here is my impression of a Christmas family brag letter.
Robert is a sensitive guy. He asks if it’s normal to get choked up easily.
Is it normal for a person to easily get choked up?
So-called “experts” have much to say about discipline.
The experts have many things to say about disciplining children. But none of them seem to know how to make discipline stick.
Does discipline teach? Or does it just control behavior?
Does discipline teach? Or does it just control behavior?
How does your childhood experience affect who you are today?
How does your childhood experience affect who you are today?
How do you discipline a child without breaking his spirit?
How do I discipline my child without breaking his spirits?
Leading By Example: Is it enough?
Will most children and adults follow the example of good behavior?
Why do intelligent people disregard simple logic?
Why do so many intelligent people disregard simple reason and logic? One would think that well educated, reasonable people should be moved by logic. That would be true if logic were the only thing upon which people operate. But most people don’t operate predominantly out of logic. They operate out of emotion and self interest, which can overpower clear thinking. Listen to my thoughts about why it’s easy to disregard logic.
Should parents be trained on how to raise children?
Many people think we should take classes to learn how to parent. Is this a good idea?
Does a bad childhood result in dysfunctional parenting?
Does a bad childhood necessarily result in dysfunctional parenting?
Why good marriages oftentimes don’t need a lot of communication…
Good marriages oftentimes don’t need a lot of communication because they don’t need a whole lot of resolution about stuff. And usually much of what they communicate is already understood.
How reliable is your long term memory?
How reliable is your long term memory? Do you remember where you were when the shuttle disaster happened? Although memories are seared into our brains, you may be surprised at what happens with our ability to recall the details.
Who are you nicest to?
Who are you nicest to? Do I treat the clerk at Target with more patience than I treat my wife? And if so, why?
Do your kids have a right to privacy?
Do your kids have a right to privacy? Is it okay to look through their things if you are concerned that they are engaging in behavior that can hurt them?
My kid couldn’t care less about consequences.
If you think your kid could care less about consequences for bad behavior, think again.
Repressed Memory Syndrome
Repressed Memory Syndrome is when a therapy patient suddenly recovers a false memory — usually that he or she was abused in the past. This was a common occurrence 20 or 30 years ago. Therapists have to be very careful not to subtly plant these ideas into the minds of their patients.
Does child therapy work?
Child therapy is usually not the most effective way to deal with difficult parenting situations. Therapy with the parents can be more beneficial because they are in the best position to make the changes that will result in overall improvements.
Church Scandal: Should we allow the media to dictate our fears?
Church Scandal: Should we allow the media to dictate our fears?
The Dangers of Fortnite & Other Video Games
School administrators weigh in on the effect the game Fortnite is having on young students at school. You may be surprised to learn how dangerous video game addiction can be.
Why would God let scandal happen in His Church?
When your children, teens and young adults ask, “Mom, if the Catholic Church is really of God, why would He let terrible scandal happen in His Church?”
Citing Witnesses to Win an Argument
In an argument, is it fair to gang up on the other side by citing witnesses? “Just about everyone agrees with me that it is!”
The Death of Common Sense & Televisions in Children’s Bedrooms
The Death of Common Sense: Most adults are shocked or offended by something they have seen on television in the past year. Yet most parents allow their children to have televisions in their rooms. This is just more proof of the death of common sense.
Are you competing for time with the other grandparents?
Sometimes, married adult children prefer to spend time with one set of grandparents over the other. We can be especially sensitive to this around the holidays. What do you do when your adult children spend more time with their in-laws than they spend with you?
Criticism: Why others criticize your choices…
What is at the root of criticism? When I make choices for myself, for my family, for my religion, sometimes close friends and family members are very critical. What is at the crux of this disapproval of the way I choose to live my life?
Dr. Ray takes a call from a woman tempted to leave the Church because of the sex abuse crisis.
A caller into Dr. Ray’s radio show is tempted to leave the Church because of the sex abuse crisis. Here’s what he tells her…
Gratitude has many benefits!
A friend of mine once said to me, “It’s hard to be depressed if you’re grateful.” Setting aside that certain percentage of depression that is biochemically induced, I agree! Gratitude has many benefits!
Why teenagers don’t want to be seen with their parents…
Is it normal for adolescents and teens to not want to be seen with their parents? The ‘experts’ will tell you it’s part of their natural desire for autonomy as they mature. I submit that it’s a prevailing cultural phenomenon caused by too much entertainment and technology which are all competing for the attention of the youth.
Is it normal for teenagers to lose their zest?
Is the teenage attitude just a natural developmental phase where they lose the zest they had as little kids? Or have we nurtured this teen attitude with the modern culture? I believe teenagers as a group would be more enthusiastic and upbeat if we didn’t create a surrounding culture of go-go, get-get, more-more stimulation. Listen as I site an informal field experiment to validate this idea.
The so-called “experts” have it wrong on sibling quibbling.
Experts have misled millions with this bad advice about sibling quibbling.
I lost my manliness on a roller coaster at Cedar Point.
Riding roller coasters with young people can give you an inferiority complex!
Boys and Guns
Why are boys so interested in guns? Is it innate to their personality or something that they pick up in the culture?
Sharing Childhood Memories – “When I was a kid…”
Do you ever say to your children, “When I was a kid…?” The problem with sharing childhood memories is this: The older we get, the greater we were.
I’d be more calm if I didn’t have kids!
Why is our patience the most challenged with our own children? Would I be more calm if I didn’t have kids?
What percentage of weddings are second marriages?
What percentage of all weddings are second marriages for at least one of the spouses?
Discipline Imprinting
Discipline Imprinting: You are less likely to be challenged by your children when they realize that there will be consequences.
But I’m a good enough parent for the others!
How is it possible that we have an obedient, high achieving, successful child in the same family as a kid who always seems to be in trouble?
So-Called Experts & Positive Parenting
The positive parenting method sounds sweet, kind and enlightened. But does it work in the real world with real children? We explore what the parenting experts say and reveal the most effective discipline methods.
But I’m not a teacher!!
Studies show that successful home schooling doesn’t necessarily depend on the academic credentials of the parents.
The Difference Between Sexes
One of the great advantages of giving essay assignments as discipline consequences is that you get to see how your kids think. Essays also illustrate the differences between boys and girls.
Parents: Don’t be afraid to say, “Because I said so.”
Are you guilty of blurting out, “Because I said so! That’s why!” In a fit of exasperation, it happens to the best of parents. The experts say that using these words is unwise. Are the experts right?
Discipline is not possible without authority.
Your authority, as perceived by your child, is key to successful child discipline. Without the perceived authority on the part of your kids, your attempts at discipline will be ineffective.
Do some kids rebel?
Some experts suggest that setting high standards will cause your children to rebel. Do children reject high moral standard by going off the rails? Should parents lower standards to avoid total rejection of expectations?
Should I apologize if I’m 94% right?
Should I apologize if the other person is at majority fault? What if my culpability is in response to being hurt, demeaned, or offended? I wouldn’t have any blame if not for the other person starting it.
The Subtle Effects of Television
Some television programs are valuable for their education and communication content. Having said that, most people know that a lot of what’s on TV is pure sludge. In addition, television has some subtle effects that you should be aware of.
Less Empathy With Each New Child
According to a particular study that I cited on my doctoral candidacy exams, you are going to lose approximately 9% empathy with every child you have. Before I had children, I was loaded with empathy! The poor last kid gets the least empathy!
My Old Man Impression: The problem is they don’t think it’s an impression!
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Grandfather.mp3" /]
Tax Time With Ten Kids
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Tax-Time_With_Ten_Kids.mp3" /]
A Test For Dementia
[audio src="https://www.drray.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/A_Test_for_Dementia.mp3" /]
Each month I send out an email containing a video, an audio or some other valuable tidbit designed to educate, enlighten or entertain. It’s free! Subscribe now to get your free stuff! Unsubscribe whenever you want. I look forward to helping you and yours have happier, healthier families and relationships! -Dr. Ray