Book Excerpts

Click on each title for the full excerpt.

Vent or Contain?, excerpt from Fighting Mad — Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger “Conventional wisdom has long advised that anger vented is good. It allows stress a release, much like the pressure discharged from a steam valve. Conventional wisdom isn’t always wise or always true.”

Cool or Hot?, excerpt from Fighting Mad — Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger “No single gene underlies temper, or impulsiveness, or irritability. It’s an intricate dance among many genes and circumstances. There’s a universal characteristic called free will that makes the picture even more unpredictable.”

Forgive or Feel Bad?, excerpt from Fighting Mad — Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger “No single act can relieve the corrosive aftereffects of anger than an honest act of forgiveness. To be sure, forgiving is hard, especially when the offender isn’t sorry. Only one thing is harder: Not forgiving.”

Trait or State?, excerpt from Fighting Mad — Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger “How does one reconcile the inconsistencies between home child and school child or between home child and school child or between marital partner and work partner? Well, they don’t need to be reconciled.”

Champion Cliff Diver, excerpt from Winning the Discipline Debates “A grandparent who protects her grandchild from his parent’s proper discipline not only undercuts the parent’s discipline but also hurts the child she means to help.”

No Apologies for Mercy, excerpt from Winning the Discipline Debates “An apology doesn’t show parental weakness or inconsistency.  It shows parental confidence and strength. A good apology is for disciplining badly. It is not for the discipline itself.”

Accept It, excerpt from Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards “A good definition of frustration: the difference between the way we’d like things or people to be and the way they are. The greater the gap between our desires and reality, the greater the frustration.”

Add a Touch, excerpt from Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards “A common theme emerges in marital therapy: Affection is low at best, absent at worst. One partner, not always the female, craves it more than the other, though routinely the supply is short for both.”

The Final Resistance, excerpt from Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards “Doing what you don’t want to do, because it’s a good thing to do, will lead you toward what you wanted to do all along: make a better marriage.”

Begin a Tradition, excerpt from Raising Good Kids: Back to Family Basics “This activity we share together is a reliable sign of who we are.”

Discipline: Why?, excerpt from Raising Good Kids: Back to Family Basics “Discipline without love may be harsh. Love without discipline is child abuse.”

The Genetic Objection, excerpt from Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It “Much of the genetic world lies beyond our control, even understanding.”

Too Old by Kindergarten, excerpt from Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It “I don’t know about you, but I’m very different now than I was at age five.”

Reverse Resolve, excerpt from Back to the Family “It is more than a desire to avoid repeating their parents’ mistakes. It is the determination to use painful memories to fuel the drive to become genuinely good parents despite a lack of childhood training.”

Of Time and Money, excerpt from Back to the Family “Whether you’re short or long on money, the more you give of you, the less your kids will care about worldly goods or any lack of.”

Consistent Discipline Does Not Equal Constant Discipline, excerpt from You’re a Better Parent Than You Think! “If I were consistent, I’d be on him every minute.”

Guilty Upon Request, excerpt from You’re a Better Parent Than You Think! “I know I shouldn’t ask, but . . .”

Prescription Parenting, excerpt from Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime “Hannah, please eat your toast over the table … and I like your sweater, your teeth look clean, and I appreciate the way you’re keeping your food in your mouth.”

Laughing in the Face of Discipline, excerpt from Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime “Send her to her room, and she dances. Make her do an extra chore, and she plays house. Take away some TV, and she colors a great picture. I mean, the kid is just incorrigible.”

Face the World, Kid!, excerpt from Good Discipline, Great Teens “The opposite of innocence is not maturity; it is worldliness.”

It’s A Matter of Trust, excerpt from Good Discipline, Great Teens “Raising teens is a lot unlike controlling a feisty colt. You have to hold the rope tightly and real close to his bridle.”